I thought i can get over things soon.... because once i sms him, he replied me in a very cool way... i know he feels pain too, but he don want to show it to me, because he wants me to get over things as soon as i can... I told a friend this evening... i think i can get over things soon... because he really kejam in things between us.. and i know.. he's keras in things..
2am in the morning... which is few minutes ago... his friend sent me a mms... caption - He's singing... and he's really singing? Kau Ilhamku...
Gosh... never in my life!! like Never?? i know he doesn't sings, because he says that he dont have the nice voice to sing? why is he singing now? so many things pop up in my mind... trust me... a girl can think alot if they starts thinking...
Gosh.. what is he thinking actually? can i at least know what's in his mind? i know... he got problems with his business now, and he think that i can find someone better than him.. instead of following him...i can get a better life... i know he still loves me.. even if he "i don love u" come out from his mouth.. i don believe that... i trust myself... or i should say i just want to trust myself? why? he must be in pain now... uber pain... i know... me too... why? we still love each other... why? anyone?
"dear, do you know that everytime i think about us i feel regret? because i know i didn;t do my part... why can;t i get another chances? please... do you know that how regret am i? i remind everyone beside me to appreciate the relationship they are having now... especially hp... i asked her please don do or just do the things that she should do in her relationship.. i really don want hp to me the another me.. dear, i know we can't turn back things.... but i really miss you... alot.."
Again... because he wants me to have better life? why? why ppl have to decide for me what is better for me? why i cannot decide it myself... why he want to do the decision himself... i just want to stay beside him when he's down... is that so hard? i know... everyone will say the same thing.. and i am really tired of hearin it... and they also feel hurt when they see me in pain... so i have to act like nothign with me... act like i don feel any pain... so that everyone stop worrying about me.. i know they love me... my family n my friends... i know... i hope i will be fine soon... it's 3am in the morning and i still can't sleep....
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