** 28.01.08

I wonder how's elaine there... if i am not mistaken elaine said it's 8 hours different from here... 8 hours means... 3pm? hmm... hope everythin's fine there... miss u laine....

Duh.. cny coming (which is next week) and i didnt get my CNY cloth yet... die la.. really dont know what to wear this time. Went to shopping with buddy and her brother after class today.. but i didnt get a thing.

I planed to go tawau on the 3-5 Feb. now need to see reynie free to go with me or not.. if she can go also.. nah.. on trus.. really feel like meeting him up.. i dont know what will happen but i just feel like going.. last time i really can't go because he really dont want me to go that time... but this time he can't stop me already la... if he really don't want to see me, what to do also la, but at least i tried. should i say "if i go i might die, but if i dont go i am dead"

wish me luck la.. i really hope this trip can jadi... if i can't meet him when i am there also i can drink with my hantu gila ba... happy also ma... gagaga.... buggger... i also dont know why i laugh.. ba i go sleep 1st la... stay awake only makes me jadi gila only ni... nitezzz!!!

through the week...

many things happened in this week. damn busy till can't even get myself a good rest. haiz... 1st i sprained my hand few days ago... then from last monday i diarrhoea till now. i know i know... diarrhoea should drink more water and rest more ma.. and not drink beer n liqueur ma.. but what to do wor... 1st elaine farewell, then rezan come. duh... i will rest from now la k? but reynie coming back wor on the 31th... excuse.. hehe...

my baby elaine really go to swiss already... seriously i still can't accept the fact, i dont want to... elaine go travel jak tu... she'll be back soon. but when i think of elaine will be alone at there... i really feel sad ni.. i can't be beside her when she need me... from secondary till now, we've been accing each other everytime we're having problem... at least i still have the others here... but she'll be alone there.... sigh... what to do... everyone have their own life....

rezan... hmm... everytime this bugger come i also need to acc him drink till he tidak gantung... 1st night till 4.30am.. second night 5.30 am... luckily he went back already today... gaga.. but seriously i enjoy juga drink with this hantu... wahahaha.... he told me lots of things about idris... i know he want to find a place to move on and get a new life.. but why? why new zealand? of all the places... why new zealand... i miss him alot... AGAIn.. ya ya.. again... i hate this kind of feelings... i need a new life... please... it is so impossible for us and i know it from the beginning... but he hold my hand and told me we will go through things... then now? i am alone already...

"you took the hammer to these walls, Dragged the memories down the hall, Packed your bags and walked away." i hate to found out that i still miss you... i hate this kind of feelings. i hate missing people.. i wish to stay alone... i hope i can stop falling in love... i'm sick of playing these kind of game.... when will the story end? can someone tell me? i am so sick of this kind of feelings already...

**super duper uber emooooo playlist

1. Three days grace - Never too late
2. Alicia Keys - No one
3. Pink - Who Knew
4. Simple plan - When i'm gone
5. Luther Vandross - I'd Rather
6. Buckcherry - Sorry
7.Beyonce feat Jay-Z Dejavu
8.Cassie - got a Long Way to Go
9. Fall Out Boy - I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off
10. Kanye West-Stronger
11. One republic - Stop n Stare
12. Maroon 5 - Wont go home without you
13. Taylor Swift - Teardrops on My Guitar
14. Jordin Sparks - Tattoo
15. Paula DeAnda Ft. Lil Wanye - Easy

brb... chelsy mau pakai pc.... uber emo now...

16th Jan, 9.23pm
this jiwang playlist really makes me gila jiwang... can u imagine a walking dead body? cannot? come and see me then u know... doi doi doi... never knew I'd be so hurt... aku mau pigi liao dulu.... bubyeeeeeee

* i got a son!

hehe... i asked Shiela "k" her son Arfan to me this afternoon... keke... 11.01.08... i got a son already... he will call his mum mamak and for me is mummy.. huhuhu... will love this kid like my own son...

Rezan sms me last night said that he;s coming to kk before 27th... and so do idris... duh... so gan jiong ni!!! gan jiong till nothing to say...

8th January... a memorable day for all of us... duh... wat a day... my love lost her wallet in the tattoo shop? mesti that bit*h yg that ba love!!! sthie... dak apa... aku curse2 suda dia tu... tenggok la.. uiks... (slap my mouth myself) punya main jahat... but ya ma... make my love cannot naik kapal... lost all her stuff... shite tul...

*Big girls don't cry?

sometimes they do... i tired to forget everything about us... let new guy get into my life but they seems cant do things like the way u do... people out there may think i'm back to normal dy but who knows what inside me in deep? like what collin said.. "ocean deep"

seems like every single thing i do still can be related to you... the moment i pass by the yogurt berry i tot of how we share a ice cream with each other... when i go to cempaka i tot of the days that we have nothing to do with elaine and just sit at there chilling... when i go to karaoke, the songs just make me miss you more because all of them are jiwang song.. then when the clubbing songs come out it remind me how we always hold each other and dance... and the way i put my hand into ur pocket and u'll put urs back to mind... i know i have to get a move on my life... but i really miss you alot...

La da dA da The smell of your skin lingers on me now Your probably on your flight back to your home town I need some shelter of my own protection baby To be with myself in center, Clarity, Peace, Serenity [CHORUS] I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, Myself and I We've got some straightenin' out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses that blanket But Ive got to get a move on with my life Its time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry The path that I'm walking I must go alone I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay [CHORUS] I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to with you It's personal, Myself and I We've got some straightenin' out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses that blanket But I've got to get a move on with my life Its time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Like the little school mate in the school yard We'll play jacks and uno cards I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine Yes you can hold my hand if u want to Cause I want to hold yours too Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds But its time for me to go home Its getting late, dark outside I need to be with myself in center, Clarity, Peace, Serenity [CHORUS] I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, Myself and I We've got some straightenin' out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses that blanket But I've got to get a move on with my life Its time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry this is a meaningful song.. it's not only the lyric... it includes the reason i love this song... i'll never forget the feelings of listening this song in ur futsal and watching u play.... we;ll never know what;s going to happen next... everyone been telling me this... all i know is i wont let myself waste a single minute in the study... i will finish it as soon as i can... then we'll know what's going to happen next... "I hope you know, That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, Myself and I"

*06.01.08

pandai2 wanna belajar open the tiger bottle.. sakit!!

*Amazing

Amazing!! i attended the orientation game on the 4th!!
And my group won the 1st prize!! The pink color thingy is actually our victory flag from the academic dean... hehe... Thanks to the leader (me!!)

One of them from the winner's hamper!!

brought it from NZ.. Love it!!

*YuHoooo

yuhoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt unwell last night.. and this morning i woke up... after the 1st stick trus my headache knock on my door... and i feel like Mr fever, Miss sore throat and Miss flue are coming soon....

trust me... i love it... i dun wan to climb Mt kinabalu on the 2nd day of cny... plssss

*Really tired...

Suddenly feel like i'm losing everything that i took them for granted in life... or i should say things are noting going like what it suppose to be... things are just not mean to be.. tired of everything.. tired of explaining things to people that i don't want to... why should i explain that much to them? so they will understand what am i thinking? why can't they find out themselves? BUT... there might be misunderstood if u let them to find out themselves. what if after u explain things to them... then u have to look at the expression.. do they trust u? or they will think that "ala.... alasan jak tu..." agree? i hate it... i really feel like going to Jupiter for 1 yr.. nobody can find me there.. and i no need to find anyone... --huhu... so emo---

why would i always involve in the complicated relationship? i know relationship is not important to me for the time being.. people will think that study is the most important thing... not logic at all pun... if it's not important to me... why i always go through things like tat? is that mean that i did the wrong decision by letting someone come into my life? duh.... tired tired tired... can someone help me find Dumbledore for me? mesti he got some magic skill can help me... like how he help harry potter take out the dream from his mind. Why is everyone making me feel gantung? why can't they just tell me what they want? i hate to bother people's life... tell me what to do le.... end up everything with everyone? every ai mei? 爱昧真是让人受竟委屈，累哦！！ 很累了咯！ 可以什么都不理吗？ 不好玩的。 在爱情认真真的有用吗？ 有？!?! 骗人!! 处处玩弄人家感情的人更开心!!!!!!!!!!!

*Happy new year!!!

hahahahahahahaha.... 1st Jan suda aku mabuk... 4 of us drank 12 bottles of tiger that evening... i was so drunk until i can't drive.. and i talked alot of rubbish tat night.. duh... regret pula the next day morning... all of them are laughing at me.. because i'm the one who planned to drink.. and i'm the one who said i'm gantung... but last last mabuk...

chelsy drive my car back that night.. my mum was so shocked because i'm drunk.. then the next day she asked
mum: where did u go last nite? what did you do?
me : i'm drunk..
mum: why are u drunk? what did you drink?
me : beer la..
mum: are you taking drugs??
me : (so pissed off) no..

why? do i looks like i am taking drugs? huh... so marah la.. ada kah she say me take drugs? i bukan always drunk juga tu... i think that is the 1st time she see me drunk also ni... okey... last last i said sorry and tell her it will never happen again... ya seriously i need to cut down dy.. tu perut tu... like got baby for 5 months dy now... duh... i dun wan ooo.. chinese new year coming ni...

hehe... went to shopping today with buddy... bought new dress... hehe... so gan jiong wanna wear it out... kekeke.. bosi asked if he can see me with the new dress... hahahaha... my pleasure... kekekeke.... alottsss of new cloths dy la... no need to shop much for chinese new year... but i think i still need a new skirt la....

how's he now? is everything goes smooth there? how's the business? i miss him.. i wish i could tell him how much i miss him now.. but i dun have the intention to be with him again... just want to tell him i miss him as in "i miss him".... duh... he'll be fine la i know... with the hantus beside... 11 dozen tiger.. gila gila gila...

class starts already... i hate one of the lecturer... always act like he's so so so clever... and handsome? duh... he's a indian... short and fat? is tat handsome? banyak lagi lecturer handsome yg aku kenal... kannnnn??? hehehehe.... luckily i still got raymond's class this semester.. at least it wont be that boring..

hmmm... ok la.. enough for today... need to get some sleep dy now... tomorrow 8am to 10am class...nite nite...