** sandi....

* i love this picture

*rainbow

what should i say? i suppose to be happy after the bday party... thanks for everyone who attended the party.. hey, alson pop up tu... wahahhaa.....

lots of things happened this few days.. before this bday party i actually felt much more better, felt that finally i can climb out from the high wall and stand up myself.. but suddenly all of those old feelings pop up from the old old memories... or i should say things that had been hidden inside the ocean deep in the heart suddenly came back... baby, remember how zombie am i when i am having the ai mei thingy with willi? all those feelings pop up again... he's treating me very well, but i know it's just because i am the bday girl. i dont like this kind of feelings. everyone in the world tot me and him finally got the chance to be together, but only me and him know that it is so impossible for us to be together. really tired with this kind of feeelings. he's too complicated for me, why am i always need to fall for those MPG? what's mpg? check back the previous posts. how can i describe the relationship with him? the normal line for a relationship should be like this... peng you -- ai mei -- then pakto... but ppl always wont stay long in the ai mei stage... both of us stayed too long at that stage, we'll only stop at that stage and wont go further on.

destiny... what's destiny actually? willi told me destiny is for those people that have passed through some stages and wont be able to be together. what do you think?

lots of things happened on the bday party. i was dead drunk sampai can't walk into the house. stayed in willi's car for hours. and i suddenly woke up and scold willi ( i can't really remember why and what did i scolded him) The next day, i called him and asked him what did i said but he dont want to tell me. he said that i talked something hurtful to him and made him can't get into sleep.

i went to see monkey on the sunday morning with willi, aweng and alicia. alicia said must make me happy on that day... willi dont want to go to at 1st.. i know it's because of my bday, gei mien ma... felt like he was forced to go to the zoo with me... two yrs dy lur... two years ago he promised to bring me go to see monkeys but he never take any action. i should be happy but i felt like he was forced to go with me on the sunday.... he know he would be scold by alicia if he refuse to go... hate to involve the 3rd party in this kind of situation... i dont like the 3rd party to settle the things for me... things would be more complicated tu....

on the other hand, idris sms me on saturday evening... i totally can't recognize his number, called love and ask her to check is that 019 his number lagi tu... he said sorry for things he had done in the past and we had chit chat for awhile.

mirror.... baby... i feel emo o now.. uber emo... i suppose to go to bed at 8pm but it is 1am already now.... feel like crying but i dont know why.... why? cant help me rearrange those feelings inside ka? feel so confuse but i dont know what am i feeling confuse....

i'm listening to luther vandross's I'd rather... i tot this song suppose to be idris's song... but why i feel like it's actually willi's song? all this while, did i do something wrong? did i made the wrong decision few months ago?

mirror, i know something bad happened to you... if u need someone to talk, sms me and we talk in the skype ok? miss you pls take care...